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sb_fag_ends2015-10-27 08:03 pm
baphrosia.livejournal.com) wrote in sb_fag_ends2015-10-27 08:03 pm
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Prompt: A Night of Fright is No Delight (comedy)
Prompt: A Night of Fright is No Delight
Setting: Post-series, possibly S9
Rating: PG
Words: 420
“Uh huh,” Spike said noncommittally, bored out of his gourd by Stacey’s or Lacey’s or whatever her name’s was idle small talk. Waiting at the coffeehouse for Buffy to finish closing up had seemed like a good idea at the time, until her co-worker had, after finding out he and Buffy weren’t a couple, decided to stick around and chat him up while he waited.
Looking around, he noticed the employee restroom just down the hall. “Excuse me,” he said, desperate for any excuse. “I just need to –”
“Oh! You shouldn’t use that –”
Spike ignored her and opened the door, only to have a very large, very hairy, very realistic spider swing down toward his face. He jumped back with a startled “What the hell?”
Stacey/Lacey giggled and fluffed her hair. Leaning waaaay closer than was necessary, she whispered. “We’re trying to prank Buffy. Because she’s the new girl, see?” She pouted up at him. “But we haven’t actually been able to scare her yet.”
“Really,” Spike said dryly.
“No. We tried all sorts of things, like scary masks, and dead bodies, and Carl even pretended to be a vampire!” she said breathlessly. “Scary, right? But she didn’t even blink. The most we got out of her was a yawn. Can you believe it? A yawn!”
“You really want to scare Buffy?”
“Not real bad,” Stacey/Lacey said. “We just want to get her to, you know, scream. Oh! I bet you know what she's scared of!” She batted her eyelashes at him hopefully.
Spike nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, I might have an idea or two. Here, follow me.”
He marched into the back kitchen, where Buffy was wiping down the espresso machine, then turned to his new best friend. “I can’t believe the news!” he said loudly. “It’s got to be a joke.”
Stacey/Lacey stared at him. “Huh?”
He turned so Buffy couldn’t see him, and winked at the girl. She stared. He winked again, and again, exaggerating the movement.
“Oh!” she said. Finally. “Right! The news! It’s no joke.”
“Congress would never do that. They don’t have the authority to pass a law like that.”
“They did! All the senators voted for it!”
Spike resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “It’s a shame,” he said. “I’ll really miss my Doc Martens.”
The love of his unlife looked up. “Why will you miss your smelly old boots?”
“Because congress just passed a new law outlawing all forms of footwear. Except for –” He paused for dramatic effect. “Crocs.”
Buffy screamed.
Setting: Post-series, possibly S9
Rating: PG
Words: 420
“Uh huh,” Spike said noncommittally, bored out of his gourd by Stacey’s or Lacey’s or whatever her name’s was idle small talk. Waiting at the coffeehouse for Buffy to finish closing up had seemed like a good idea at the time, until her co-worker had, after finding out he and Buffy weren’t a couple, decided to stick around and chat him up while he waited.
Looking around, he noticed the employee restroom just down the hall. “Excuse me,” he said, desperate for any excuse. “I just need to –”
“Oh! You shouldn’t use that –”
Spike ignored her and opened the door, only to have a very large, very hairy, very realistic spider swing down toward his face. He jumped back with a startled “What the hell?”
Stacey/Lacey giggled and fluffed her hair. Leaning waaaay closer than was necessary, she whispered. “We’re trying to prank Buffy. Because she’s the new girl, see?” She pouted up at him. “But we haven’t actually been able to scare her yet.”
“Really,” Spike said dryly.
“No. We tried all sorts of things, like scary masks, and dead bodies, and Carl even pretended to be a vampire!” she said breathlessly. “Scary, right? But she didn’t even blink. The most we got out of her was a yawn. Can you believe it? A yawn!”
“You really want to scare Buffy?”
“Not real bad,” Stacey/Lacey said. “We just want to get her to, you know, scream. Oh! I bet you know what she's scared of!” She batted her eyelashes at him hopefully.
Spike nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, I might have an idea or two. Here, follow me.”
He marched into the back kitchen, where Buffy was wiping down the espresso machine, then turned to his new best friend. “I can’t believe the news!” he said loudly. “It’s got to be a joke.”
Stacey/Lacey stared at him. “Huh?”
He turned so Buffy couldn’t see him, and winked at the girl. She stared. He winked again, and again, exaggerating the movement.
“Oh!” she said. Finally. “Right! The news! It’s no joke.”
“Congress would never do that. They don’t have the authority to pass a law like that.”
“They did! All the senators voted for it!”
Spike resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “It’s a shame,” he said. “I’ll really miss my Doc Martens.”
The love of his unlife looked up. “Why will you miss your smelly old boots?”
“Because congress just passed a new law outlawing all forms of footwear. Except for –” He paused for dramatic effect. “Crocs.”
Buffy screamed.