sb_fag_ends | Demons (Fic) PG

Title: Demons
Creator: Waddiwasiwitch
Rating: PG
Setting: S6
Word count: 942
Prompt: Spike throws Xander a Bachelor party.
I actually wrote a longer fic than this but it went over the limit, so if you want to check that out I will put it on the ashtray.

Demons
A bloke was getting himself tied to a ball and chain, and that meant that he was due one last hurrah. As Harris hadn’t made any plans for a stag party, according to Dawn the responsibility of making sure the whelp didn’t miss out on this rite of passage fell to Spike. The vampire wasn’t entirely convinced; her judgement was questionable, considering she thought NSync were incredibly talented.
Spike’s sceptical look brooked no argument with the bint.
“You lost and you do the forfeit,” she argued. “And I chose that you have to make Xander have a bachelor party.”
“Have you lost your mind?” he asked. “As if Harris would chose to be in my company.”
“That’s your problem,” Dawn replied. “Loser.” She made the L sign in the air.
Spike knew he had lost the battle with the kid for the second time in one day. The Slayer breaking things off really had spun his head if the Nibblet was getting the better of him.
“Women,” he muttered.
How on earth was he supposed to manage this?

Kidnapping Harris from his place of work probably wasn’t one of Spike’s best ideas but it sure was fun. With Clem’s help they had bungled the whelp in the back of his Desoto. Spike got a couple of zaps to the brain for his trouble before he managed to convince Harris he had no evil plans.
“What the hell are you doing?” Harris whinged.
“Not trying to hurt you, Harris. We’re taking you on an adventure of depravity.”
Clem waved nervously at the man. “Hi Xander. We’re going to have an amazing time.”
Spike could practically see the cogs moving in the boy’s birdbrain. “Again, I said huh!”
“We’re throwing you a bachelor party,” Spike said.
Twice Harris opened his mouth and closed it again before he could finally find his voice. “Right, and that makes a whole heap of sense. Bachelor parties are meant to be with friends and loved ones, not demons and former enemies.” Harris rang his fingers through his hair. “No offence, Clem,” Harris added when Clem’s face fell.
Spike tutted disparagingly. “Your friends are all women or tweedy book types. Don’t think you’d want a bachelor party with that lot.”
“Point taken,” Harris conceded. “But if you try and kill me…”
Spike chuckled. “I’m flattered, Harris, that you think this is some nefarious plan. I’m just here for the booze.”
The vampire rubbed his hands together, “Now – how about a ceasefire for the night?”
Harris shrugged. “Where to then?”
Spike’s smirk became even more pronounced. “We’re going for a road trip in this baby.” He rubbed his hand fondly on the dashboard.
“But where are we going?”
Spike ignored him and started the engine. Clem, taking pity on Harris, answered, “Los Angeles!”

The night passed by in a pleasurable, alcohol induced blur and wasn’t altogether as terrible as Spike thought it would be. In truth Harris wasn’t bad company when he had a few drinks.
Spike stumbled back from the bar with a round of drinks; he lost count of how many. Harris was well and truly plastered and he was gloomily staring into his empty pint glass.
“Am I doing the right thing?” Xander was saying. “I mean – I want to marry Anya. God, I love her, but I worry about...” His head went up at Spike’s arrival.
Spike shook his head. “You’d be a fool to let Demon girl go. Some other bloke would snap her up right quick if you did.”
Clem nodded. “She’s a peach even if her skin’s all tight.”
“’Sides,” Spike added, “She loves you for some reason. Some of us aren’t so lucky; we get driven around the bend by bitches playing hot and cold.”
“Didn’t know you seeing anybody,” Harris said suspiciously.
“Not anymore,” Spike replied, already regretting his outburst.
“Spike got dumped by the-” Spike quickly stood on Clem’s foot. “Hey – what was that for, Spike?”
“Shut the hell up!”
Harris looked at him thoughtfully, and Spike didn’t like it much; Buffy would dust him if he let the cat out of the bag.
“Drink up,” the vampire said, putting the three pints on the table.

The first Buffy knew of any crazy bachelor party was when she bumped into Spike, Xander and Clem pulling up in Spike’s Desoto, looking decidedly unkempt and hungover (or maybe the hungover part was just Xander).
Spike opened the driver door and stepped out, “Hullo, Slayer.”
She watched open mouthed as Xander stepped out of the back of the car.
“I’ll fill you in another time,” he whispered.
“Hi, Buffy,” said Clem.
Her head was spinning. Was she after landing in Bizzaro world or some other dimension?
“Am I dreaming?” she asked the demon.
Clem just smiled. “No, we went on a road trip. It was swell.”
Buffy snuck a look at Spike, who was looking decidedly shifty.
He avoided her gaze, “Ask the Little Bit. Things to do and places to be.”
The vampire turned away and walked off into the distance. Buffy could feel both Xander and Clem’s eyes on her. Clem had a sad expression on his face, his flaps of skin wobbling as he shook his head. Buffy realised in surprise that Clem must know about he and Spike. That knowledge made her instantly nauseated and she could feel her stomach heaving.
“I’ve gotta go,” she said, and took off in the direction of Revello Drive, all thoughts of patrol driven from her head as were any questions as to why Clem, Spike and Xander were all pally all of a sudden.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Lovely interlude. So should have happened. I want more. :D

Thanks so much.

I posted a longer version on the ashtray and on my journal. :)

Thanks. I went and had a read. I like you're grown up Xander!

Harris whinged.

I love how these 2 words completely set the POV. :) Will check out the longer version!

Thanks for reading. :)

Oh, I like this! Spike, Xander and Clem getting plastered and talking about girls is just several kinds of fun.

Thank you very much.

Demons (Fic) PG

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